The death of your spouse/partner/significant other impacts every aspect of your life; it can be completely overwhelming. You should not try to ‘go it alone’. There are people and professionals who can help.
After the death of your loved one, it is critical to take the time you need to grieve and avoid the temptation to go it alone. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is actually the first step towards healing and moving forward. Whenever possible, avoid making any major financial decisions immediately after your loss. Rather, take steps to protect yourself in the short term.
It can take 6-8 months to untangle a couple’s finances. Most families try to settle finances as quickly as possible, which can be a recipe for disaster. Not clearly identifying future needs and making hasty decisions are common mistakes, and ones that many later regret.
As soon as you deposit a large check - such as a life insurance benefit - into a bank account, you are immediately encouraged to go to the institution’s investment area. Protect yourself, and the time you need to grieve, by stating clearly and emphatically that you are NOT ready to make ANY financial decisions. If you feel pressured to do so, RUN don’t walk away.
If you do not already have a trusted financial advisor, find someone who will work with you to review your finances and help you construct your complete financial picture. The discovery of unknown or misplaced accounts and investments takes time, and much of it happens during tax season. You may receive 1099s from accounts you never knew existed. This is why it is critically important to get help in locating and understanding your complete financial situation before making any big decisions -- or making any investments.
Once your assets are identified and organized AND you are emotionally able to participate, the process begins in which you define your long-term financial goals and make informed financial decisions.
To summarize,
- Take time to rest, grieve. Do not make any significant financial decisions before you have taken this time. Quick decisions made too soon or without the proper information or counsel can dramatically impact your long-term financial outcomes. Protect yourself from those who may pressure you to make quick decisions, especially regarding investments.
- Ask for help. Seek advice from a trusted financial advisor if you have one. This person can begin to review and organize your estate/finances while you take the necessary time to grieve. What you don’t know about your finances can hurt you. While you are beginning to adjust to your ‘new normal,’ your financial advisor can begin researching and assessing your immediate and longer term financial needs.
- Seek and schedule a meeting with a qualified fee-only financial planner once you are ready. Most certified financial planners provide an initial free meeting to discuss your needs. You can go to http://www.napfa.org to search for fee-only planners in your area. Take time to ask questions, clarify your priorities and personal preferences, and discuss specifically what you would like to accomplish as you move forward. Ensure the planner understands your needs, not just your list of assets. Ask the planner about the discovery meeting that will help you uncover your financial desires and profile/personality. Your financial planner can create a customized, long-term financial vision based on your specific circumstances and wishes.
